Sexual immorality, divorce, the meaning of marriage and committing fornication before marriage
We are living in a time with total individual freedom. Everything is focussed on the freedom of the individual. It seems that many people consider the Standards and the Values of the Lord as obstacle for their total freedom and development. They feel the standards as something which is not applicable for this time we now living. The family, the man and the woman, is not the basis anymore for a civilised society! Yes, everything is sacrificed for the individual freedom of the human being. Due to this way of life, the people became very immoral and egoistic. They have no respect anymore for each other or for their parents. Because the human being of this time demands so much freedom for himself, there are no any obstacles more to divorce, if there is a very little struggle between the man and the woman. They both are so egoistic and individualistic, that they have no any respect for each other or for the Lord God. The last years, we see an increasing in divorce inside the Syrian community over the whole world.
Our time is also the time of total sexual freedom, this means total sexual immorality. There is nothing taboo anymore, because each taboo is broken through in our time. Sex /eroticism and related matters are omnipresent on the television. Sex and other matters are strongly commercialised. Sex occurs in advertisement world, in film industry and in the various clothing-shows. For example, a film without a sex scene in it, will be no success film! Everything, which is related with sex, eroticism and suchlike, sells very well. In other words, sex/eroticism is business, is trade, is commerce and money. You just turn on the television and a lot of dirty and blasphemously is demonstrated. The many Christians people are also confronted with such scandalise matters, which give a lot of offence. The many Christian young people are also tempted by such terrible immorality. Many of them will probably be influenced with this dirty which they get from the television. How should a Christian deal with such abundance of sins and immorality? How can the Christian people be protected against such dirt and garbage?
During the Bible Study meetings in the Mor Yuhanon Church in Hengelo, a lot of questions regarding the sexual immorality were discussed. Issues such as divorce, fornication before and after the marriage, those who become unfaithful towards their wife and commit fornication ant a lot of other issues. Here below, I will summarise these questions:
The meaning of the marriage
Before answering these questions, it maybe be good, first to tell something about the meaning of the marriage. What is exactly the meaning of the marriage? Is the meaning of the marriage that the man and woman having sex with each other to make children? Or has the meaning of the marriage a deeper sense?
When the Lord created Adam, later He took one rib of Adam and shaped Eva form that rib. Thus Eva was after Adam formed, a time later. The man (Adam) and the woman (Eva) are actually one and the same person. They are two persons, who originally were one person. After the Lord made Eva out of the rib of Adam, He brought Eva to Adam, like we can read in Genesis 2:21,, Then the Lord God made the man fall into a deep sleep, and while he was sleeping, He took out one of the man's ribs and closed up with flesh. He formed a woman out of the rib and brought her to him. "
Dear reader, this sentence is extremely important and at the same time it is remarkable! When a girl get married, the bridegroom comes to her home to pick her up. The father or the brother of the girl takes her hand and hand over the girl to the bridegroom. Such scene is also here happening, because after forming of Eva out of the rib of the man, the Lord took the hand of Eva and brought her to Adam. Therefore we can ask the question: Why did the Lord it in this way? I mean, He could also have said,, Adam, come here and pick up your wife I have formed for you", or, "Madam go to your husband" or " over there is your man, go to him". No dear reader, no! The Lord God brought Personally Eva to Adam! By doing this, the Lord has put His Majesty, His Holiness and His Greatness in the scales. His Holy name and Majesty is involved in the marriage between the man and woman. The Lord wants to express in this way the holiness of the marriage, by involving His Majesty and Holiness. By doing that, He has blessed the marriage, which means that the marriage between the man and woman is holy, because the Lord is Holy!
We can say that the Lord God wanted to say to Adam, "Adam, here I give you my daughter Eva, and you should treat her in agreement with My Wiliness". Dear reader, I would like to make a remark. What is the meaning of the fact when a man let his wife and children at home and goes secretly to whores? Whom does he insult? I can guarantee you that such a man is insulting the Majesty, the Holiness and the Greatness of the Lord God! Do they think that they can mock unpunished at the Majesty of the Lord? That is out of the question!
The relationship between the man and the wife...
The relationship between the man and the wife is not just an ordinary relationship! It has a great meaning. About their relationship we read in Genesis 2:24,, That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united with his wife, and they become one"
The order of this sentence is very important, since it reveals something about the meaning of the marriage. We can write the sentence as follows:
The man and woman should first love each other, which means united with each other and after that, they will become one (flesh). We can ask the question, what is the meaning of they will become one (flesh)?. The meaning of that is sexual intercourse, that is the secret behind the fact that they will become one (flesh). In the marriage, the sexual intercourse gives expression to the unity between the man and woman!
When takes thesexual intercourse place inside the marriage?
The Bible is very clear about the sex between the man and the woman. The Lord God gave the responsibility of sex fully to the man and the woman. They can enjoy sex within the boundaries and the cleanness, which is given by the Lord God. Regarding the sex between the man and woman, we read in the Bible,, He created them male and female, blessed them, and said, "Have many children, so that your descendants will live all over the earth and bring it under their control" (Genesis 1:28)
Also is this case, the order of the sentence is very important, because:
When the Lord says,, Have many children,, it means getting children is only possible when the man and woman have sex with each other, thus when they are one flesh! In other words, the marriage is first performed by the Lord God and after that, the man and woman are allowed to have sex with each other!!!!!!! That is the reason that a Christian should be virgin before the marriage!!!
What can we learn?
Dear reader, what can we learn from the previous story? I think, that we can learn a few very important matters, namely:
The secret of the marriage
Until now, we have learned the meaning of the marriage. It became clear that the marriage is an institution, which is established by the Lord God! But now we can ask the question: What is the secret of the marriage? Why didn't the Lord God create Adam and Eva at the same time? Why is Eva a while later created out of the ribs of Adam? Why is first Adam created and after that is Eva out of Adam created? Has this a meaning? How should we have to understand this?
Here below, the secret behind the marriage will be explained.
In Ephesians 5:21-36 we read,, Submit yourselves to one another because of your reference for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband has authority over his wife just as Christ has authority over His Church; and Christ is Himself the Saviour of the Church, His body. And so wives must submit completely to their husband just as the Church submits itself to Christ. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave His life for it. He did this to dedicate the Church to God by His Word, after making it clean by washing it in water, in order to present the Church to Himself in all its beauty-pure and faultless, without spot or wrinkle or any other imperfection. Men ought to love their wives just as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. No one ever hates his own body. Instead, he feeds it and takes care of it, just as Christ does the Church; for we are members of His body. As the scripture says, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one" . There is a deep secret truth revealed in this scripture, which I understand as applying to Christ and the Church. But it also applies to you: every husband must love his wife as himself, and every wife must respect her husband"
This quotation explains everything about the meaning and the secret of the marriage. In the beginning of this essay, we saw that after the Lord had created Eva out of the rib (the body) of Adam, He brought her personally to Adam. If we combine that with the above-mentioned quotation, than we can imagine what the Lord God has told to Adam and Eva. Probably He said to them,, Adam, here I give you My daughter Eva, but treat her very good! You should love here as your own body. And Eva, My daughter, you should obey Adam like you would have obeyed Me."
When we read in the Bible about .. Submitting to one another..... means always in agreement with the wiliness of the Lord God! Submitting to one another doesn't mean that one of them is the King and the other is the slave, no dear reader no!! That is not the task, which the man and the woman have got from the Lord God. Obeying, submitting to one another, means always like God wants from you! It is my duty and your duty, as a Christian, to obey the commands of the Lord God.
Like we saw in the above-mentioned quotation, the relation between the man and the woman is described exactly as the relation between Jesus Christ and His Church. Jesus Christ has the authority over His Church, in the same way the man has received the authority from the Lord God, over his wife. Please pay attention to the relation: Jesus- Church and man-wife. It doesn't mean that the man has the right to use his wife as a slave, because Jesus Christ didn't use the Church as His slave. No, dear reader no! In contrary, He has shed His blood for the Church! In the way like Jesus loves the Church, in exactly the same way also the man should love and take care for his wife. In spite of the fact that Jesus has the authority over the Church, He always has served His Church. He says, for example, " .like the Son of Man, who did not come to be served, but to serve and to give His life to redeem many people " (Matthew 20:28).
.Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord .
This sentence is not written in the sense of Wives, submit to your husbands because he is a good guy , no dear reader no! Submitting to your husband, means respecting and honouring the Lord God, your Father in the heaven! By respecting His commands you say to Him,, Yes Father in the heaven, I will obey your Word and Wiliness! " By submitting to your husband, you give evidence of faithfully and are fulfilling the task you got from the Lord God.
.Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave His life for it. He did this to dedicate the Church to God by His Word, after making it clean by washing it in water, in order to present the Church to Himself in all its beauty-pure and faultless, without spot or wrinkle or any other imperfection .
The meaning of this is: Because Jesus Christ gave His life for the Church, this means for the people who believe in Him, the Church is totally cleaned and dedicated through the sacrificial shed blood of Jesus. When a Christian becomes a real follower of Jesus, means that Jesus has cleaned Him from top to bottom.
Men ought to love their wives just as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. No one ever hates his own body. Instead, he feeds it and takes care of it, just as Christ does the Church; for we are members of His body .
Also this sentence makes quite clear the relation between the man and the woman. Please pay attention to the fact that the Bible is speaking about their own bodies, own body , loves himself . of His body . If we try to interrelate this with the fact that at the beginning the Lord God formed Eva out of the rib of Adam, than everything will become clear and simple to understand. Like I told at beginning of this discussion, the man and woman consist of one body with two persons and that is the reason this is expressed by the Bible.
.There is a deep secret truth revealed in this scripture, which I understand as applying to Christ and the Church. But it also applies to you: every husband must love his wife as himself, and every wife must respect her husband ..
Dear reader, here you see the secret of the marriage. That is nothing, but the relation between Jesus Christ and the Church. The fact that Eva was not at the same time created as Adam forms an illustration to Jesus Christ and the Church. The church was always there, but the Church could only become visible when Jesus came to this world. After all, the Church is the body of Jesus Christ. So, the body could only become visible, when Jesus became visible. That means when He came to this world, after that the Church was created and not before! Only after the appearance of Jesus to this world, the Church could be shown up to this world and not before!!. That is also the secret behind the creation of Adam and Eva. Eva could only become visible after Adam was created! Eva was in Adam, like the Church was in Jesus. This is also the reason that the authority belongs to the man and not to the woman! Due to the previous explanation, the task of the woman.. Submit yourselves to one another because of your reference for Christ is very valid!
In the previous we have in detail discussed the meaning and the secret behind the marriage, now we switch over to our questions. We will keep the previous explanation in mind, when the questions will be answered. Please click on the question to get the answer.